Friday, January 16, 2009

Draft Version Prress Release 1 : Announcement




FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
January 15, 2009
NEW COMPANY EMERGING IN REAL ESTATE INDUSTRY

LOGAN, Utah- - ABC Real Estate debuted their third business location in Cache Valley with objectives to appeal to small town locals with their creative real estate expertise. The company is introducing its beneficiary-directed-equity-holding land trust options to prospective homeowners and investors with expectations to develop a lucrative business in Utah.
President and CEO of the company Preston Parker noted , “ Existing locations of ABC Real Esatate in Salt Lake City and California have proven to be profitable in the real estate industry. Even in these times of economic hardship where we find foreclosures to be all too common, with ABC Real Estate we are looking to change that statistic with beneficialry-directed-equity-holding land trusts.”




Contact Information: Leilani Vaiaoga
Leilani.Vaiaoga@aggiemail.usu.edu
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4 comments:

  1. Joshua RosenJanuary 16, 2009 at 4:55 PM

    I like the way you use words. Debuted and expertise...are really good words. In my opinion, your use of words is too flowery.

    Other than that, I really liked what you have. Considering the 15 min. death trap! LOL

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  2. Michelle ToponceJanuary 16, 2009 at 7:55 PM

    I really like the quote that you used. I like the information that you have but I think you need to explain it more. I liked how you gave some of the background and pointed out that there were 2 other stores. Don't for get to put the -END- thing at the end ha ha. Maybe explain a little more of what the company does exactly and the benefits from it. Other than that awesome job!

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  3. stellahJanuary 17, 2009 at 8:14 PM

    In general you did a good job, but i think the lead is a little too long,is the last sentence a quote? and if it is i think it needs to be attributed.

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  4. usumattyJanuary 17, 2009 at 9:42 PM

    I thought your press release was well written with the time that we had to do it. I agree with Stella though, your lead was maybe too long, but I dont know if that is necessarily wrong either? Well written, and it looks like youre a pretty fast typer ha, good job.

    ReplyDelete

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